


Pet Names

by cmere



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Anal Sex, Come Eating, David being real cute, Henry calling David baby, Henry taking charge, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, alex calling henry baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25938292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmere/pseuds/cmere
Summary: “So I like it,” Henry says defensively. “Is it a crime that I like when my boyfriend speaks to me with affection? Especially considering most of the time, you’re insulting me?”“Is it a crime that you call your dog the same pet name—” Alex pauses at this, glaring at Henry as though daring him to go there— “that literally turns you into the horniest horndog who ever horned? Not exactly, but it is fucking weird, Henry.”Alex and Henry navigate balancing their sex life with the realities of being dog dads.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 38
Kudos: 355





	Pet Names

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working on a couple loooooong-term fic projects right now (this fall should be very exciting!!), so I found this WIP in my drafts and decided to finish it up and post it in the meantime. :) Inspired by the fact that I have dogs and I know what dogs (and dog owners) are like.
> 
> Thanks to [the lovely Kathleen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tedddylupin/) for looking this over for me!! <3

It’s slipped out a few times when Henry is alone. The thought has crossed his mind that it might be a little weird, but not weird enough that it stops him from saying it. 

The reaction Alex gives when he’s at Kensington to witness it, though, suggests otherwise.

“You just—you just—” Alex is verging on speechless, which is saying something. His eyes are bugging out, and he’s gesticulating wildly with his hands, huge circles in the air.

“Hmm?” Henry says, all innocence and wide eyes, pretending he hasn’t noticed what Alex is freaking out about. David is curled up at his side, and Henry pets him idly, long fingers trailing down his back. “Go on, then.” 

“You—you just called David baby. You said, _baby, hop up here_.”

“Oh, did I?” Henry says. “David likes pet names. And look, he hopped up! Such a good lad!” He scruffs David’s ears; David reaches up to lick him delicately on the nose.

“That’s very cute and all, but are you forgetting our phone conversation from a few weeks ago?”

Henry is pretty sure he knows exactly the conversation Alex is referring to, but he decides to play dumb. “What conversation do you mean? We talk almost every day.”

“The conversation where you literally got a massive erection after I called you _baby_ on the phone and made me talk dirty to you until you came all over yourself.” Alex crosses his arms, looking smug, one eyebrow raised.

Henry can feel the flush rising his cheeks. “I hardly think I forced you to—”

“ _And_ ,” Alex interrupts, “you told me that you get at least a little turned on every time I call you that. _And then_ you said that when you masturbate, you fantasize about me whispering it in your ear _every damn time you come_.”

“So I like it,” Henry says defensively. “Is it a crime that I like when my boyfriend speaks to me with affection? Especially considering most of the time, you’re insulting me?”

“Is it a crime that you call your dog the same pet name—” Alex pauses at this, glaring at Henry as though daring him to go there— “that literally turns you into the horniest horndog who ever horned? Not exactly, but it is fucking weird, Henry.”

“I thought you liked David.”

“I do like—that’s not the point! Stop changing the subject.”

“ _And_ I thought you liked talking dirty to me.”

“I do,” Alex says with a sigh. “Especially when you talk back.”

“So what are we arguing about?” Henry forces himself not to cringe at his pathetic dodge, hoping it will work.

“We’re arguing about how you’re a filthy, freaky little bastard.”

“I thought you liked that about me too.”

“I like everything about you, shithead.” Alex’s lips curve into a smile. Henry smiles back, warmth spreading through his chest. 

“You’re a true gem, Alex Claremont-Diaz. How did I get so lucky?”

“I think you were mostly just in the right place at the right time. It’s a relationship of convenience, pretty much.”

Henry snorts. David, who had been dozing at his side, jumps awake. “Yes, this international diplomatic long-distance relationship is extremely convenient. We haven’t had to go through anything challenging to make it work at all.” David stands and stretches, then shakes his head back and forth, ears flying. Henry reaches out to pat him, but he jumps off the bed. Before Henry can think about it, he says, “Baby! Come back!”

Alex’s jaw drops.

“I can’t help it!” Henry almost squeaks. David ignores him and trots over to his dog bed in the corner, collapsing into a little ball of puppy. Henry exerts significant effort to refrain from cooing at him. “He’s so cute.”

“You’re a lost cause,” Alex says, shaking his head. “Maybe I should just go and give you and your _baby_ some alone time.”

“No!” Henry cries and flops dramatically down in Alex’s lap. “Please don’t leave me! I swear I’ll try to stop!”

“Or maybe I’ll just have to come up with another name to call you,” Alex says thoughtfully, hand stretching out across Henry’s chest, sending delightful tingles down his spine. “Sugar tits? You like sugar tits?”

“Nooo,” Henry says, trying to express his displeasure in the curl of his lip. “That’s going to give me the opposite of an erection.” He looks up at Alex, biting back a smile when he sees Alex’s mischievous one.

“How about candy ass?” Alex reaches one hand down to squeeze Henry’s butt. Henry jumps a little.

“Please, no.”

“Hmm,” Alex hums, locking eyes with Henry. “Is there anything else that would get you going, baby?”

Alex finishes the question with his voice low and gravelly. Henry feels it immediately—a jolt, low in his stomach, that travels through his groin. He narrows his eyes. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Did it work?” Alex looks way too pleased with himself.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Alex grins and places his hand on Henry’s thigh, dragging his fingers slowly, so slowly, up. Henry was already halfway there, but the promise he feels in Alex’s teasing touch makes his eyes flutter shut, and he lets the sensation overtake him. When Alex’s hand brushes his groin, he can’t help the small moan that escapes his mouth.

“Baby it is,” Alex whispers, leaning over so his breath puffs against Henry’s lips. Henry surges up to meet him in a blazing kiss, wrapping one hand behind Alex’s neck. He feels Alex’s teeth catch his lip, feels Alex’s hand press more firmly against his hard-on through his trousers, and he’s damn near overcome. They kiss like that for a minute, a slow, sweet burn.

When Alex pulls back suddenly, Henry is left wanting.

“What—?”

“I’m gonna need you to get your candy ass sugar tits up on those pillows, sweetheart,” Alex says. Henry laughs and scoots himself up the bed, leaning back on the seemingly endless fluffy pillows piled against the ornate headboard. Alex watches him, the glimmer in his eyes betraying the heat behind them. Henry meets them with his own, dropping one hand to his upper thigh and rubbing ever so slightly. Alex licks his lips; one side of Henry’s mouth turns up.

All of a sudden, he sees movement out of the corner of his eye and looks to his right to see…David, who is now making fierce eye contact with him as he stands up in his bed and stretches. 

“Oh no,” Henry says, immediately looking down to try to fend off any canine attention.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks, and he sounds so concerned that Henry feels a little bad.

“David,” Henry whispers, glancing up again to confirm that David is still staring at him. David sits in his dog bed, but he doesn’t look away. Alex’s head whips around, and David’s tail starts wagging back and forth.

“Shit,” Alex says. “How do we make him go back to sleep?”

“We can’t really _make_ him,” Henry says in a low voice. “He’s an independent dog. He does what he wants.”

“Can’t you just sing him a fucking lullaby or something? He looks like he wants to come over here.”

Henry rolls his eyes. “A _fucking lullaby_ is not going to do anything,” he hisses, dripping with disdain. “Let’s just stay quiet for a minute, and _no_ —don’t look at him. Maybe he’ll go back to sleep.”

“Fine,” Alex shoots back. 

Their eyes meet across the bed. Henry feels a laugh bubbling up at the absurdity of the situation—trying to trick his dog into sleeping so they can have sex in peace. His throat makes a weird choking noise when he struggles to keep it at bay. 

“What the fuck was that?” Alex whispers loudly, indignant, and Henry loses it completely, a squawk of laughter escaping him as he flops face-down onto the pillows. The cause is lost. He hears David’s tags jingling before he feels David land on his head seconds later. “What is so fucking funny?”

Henry wheezes, reaching up to push David off of him, only to have Alex land on him a second later.

“David,” Alex yells, drawing out the second syllable, and David promptly jumps on Alex’s head. Henry’s stomach hurts from laughing, and his side hurts from Alex’s elbow wedged in it. David lets out a dignified bark.

“It’s okay, baby,” Henry coughs, shoving Alex aside and reaching for David.

“Oh my god,” Alex screeches, pounding his fists into Henry’s bicep like it’s a punching bag. “You—” Punch. “Did—” Punch. “It—” Punch. “Again—” Punch, punch, punch.

“Oww,” Henry cries, scooping David up in his arms, his entire body flailing as he tries to escape Alex’s reach. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll keep you safe.”

“This is going to _kill_ that word for me,” Alex says. “I hope you realize that. Every time I say it now, I’m going to be thinking about your fucking dog. When I would rather be thinking about your fucking cock. Fucking your cock? Fucking your fucking cock.”

“I know,” Henry says. “But look, he’s so precious.”

“You’re obsessed.”

“He’s a _good dog_.”

“He is. But I still have a fucking boner, Henry.”

“Me too,” Henry says, realizing. “Mostly.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do to distract him?” Alex asks. He widens his eyes and bites his lip, looking every inch the innocent heartthrob, and he’s so _obvious_ , but Henry falls prey to it anyway.

“Fine,” Henry says. He puts David down, standing and crossing the room to a drawer of dog-related items to pull out David’s favorite chew toy that he only gets on special occasions. David follows close at his heels as he leads him over to the dog bed and makes him sit and lie down. “This should keep him busy for a while.”

“How long?” Alex asks as Henry strides back over to the bed, stripping as he goes.

“Don’t waste my time with stupid fucking questions,” Henry says, then pushes Alex back and climbs on top of him with authority, now entirely naked.

“Yes, your highness,” Alex breathes, bringing his hands up to Henry’s waist. His touch is firm and sure, and Henry feels a spark in his gut. He grabs Alex’s wrists and slams them down on the bed over his head. Alex’s eyes go almost comically round, and he grinds his hips up into Henry, testing.

Henry smiles and leans in close to Alex’s face. “Don’t fucking move,” he says, “unless I tell you to.” Then he crushes their mouths together in a bruising kiss. Alex sucks Henry’s tongue into his mouth greedily and they kiss, wet and messy, until they’re both breathless. Henry waits until Alex is panting against him before he grinds down, _hard_. Alex’s head falls to the side, mouth open and groaning, and Henry takes the opportunity to tongue down his neck, leaving a hot trail of open-mouthed kisses with just an edge of teeth.

Henry’s hands leave Alex’s wrists to trace down his sides; Alex squirms under his touch. Henry notices that he doesn’t move his arms, though, despite his newfound freedom, and Henry grins against his collarbone. He likes the rare occasions when Alex listens. His fingers work open the buttons on Alex’s shirt, and Henry slowly pushes the fabric aside, glancing up to see Alex watching his every move. 

“Can I—” Alex starts; Henry interrupts with a quick but firm, “No.”

“God,” Alex groans, but he keeps his arms faithfully above his head while Henry flicks a finger over his nipple and then moves to unbutton his trousers, his mouth sliding down Alex’s chest as he works his way down. “I’m so fucking obsessed with you. It’s not fair.”

“Life’s not fair,” Henry says. Before Alex can argue, he has Alex’s pants around his thighs and Alex’s cock in his mouth. 

Henry feels Alex’s back arch up, hears a string of curses escape his mouth—“Shit fuck Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker you talented motherfucking asshole—” and he looks up to see Alex’s eyes flick down toward him, then back up to the ceiling again. Henry swallows Alex deep, tongue dragging across the underside of his cock. He tugs Alex’s pants down farther and lets go of him to strip everything off entirely. Alex whimpers at the loss, and a grin spreads across Henry’s face.

“Hot ass motherfucker,” Alex mutters. Henry laughs a little, spreading his legs open. He takes Alex’s cock in his hand and breathes hot air down its length before tonguing over Alex’s balls. “Can’t I touch you? Please?”

Henry hums, letting his lips vibrate against Alex. “Let me think about it,” he says, gripping Alex’s dick tight and stroking up and down. He takes Alex’s balls in his mouth and sucks, not stopping the motions of his hand. Alex lets out a high-pitched noise and releases another mouthful of curses as Henry drags his tongue around, reveling in every single noise coming out of Alex’s mouth, every single muscle that tenses and releases under Henry’s touch. “No.”

Henry hears Alex whimper, followed by a familiar jingle of tags. 

“Fuck,” Henry breathes, and he looks up at Alex. “Is he…looking?”

Alex’s eyes dart to the side. “Yes.”

“Don’t make eye contact.”

“H, if your dog somehow prevents us from finishing this…”

“Then you’ll just have to get over it, won’t you?” Henry whispers. “No—don’t look at him. Look at me.”

They stay like that a moment, breathing hard, eyes locked on each other. Henry wants to laugh again, but something about the intensity in Alex’s gaze stops him. Then, Henry hears the familiar crunch of David resuming his chewing on the bone.

“Are we safe?”

“I think so,” Alex says. “For now.”

“We can’t waste any more time,” Henry says, climbing up the bed to get the lube off the nightstand. He settles himself on Alex’s thighs, slicking Alex’s cock with both hands while Alex looks up at him with disbelieving eyes. Henry gives him a crooked grin, enjoying the familiar dumbstruck expression that Alex gets whenever Henry takes control. Henry crawls forward on his hands and knees, pausing a breath away from Alex’s lips before meeting them in a kiss. Alex surges hungrily up as though he’s been starving for it, all tongue and teeth, and Henry lets his hands trace their way up Alex’s arms, still held above his head as though by an invisible tether. Henry’s fingers tug at Alex’s sleeves to finish removing his shirt, then find Alex’s wrists, wrapping around them and pulling Alex’s hands down to his hips. Alex groans into Henry’s mouth as his thumbs immediately start rubbing small circles over Henry’s hip bones. Henry presses his body flush against Alex’s, dragging himself down Alex’s stomach until his arse bumps up against Alex’s erection. Alex turns his head to the side and sucks in a shaky, gasping breath; Henry mouths his way over Alex’s cheek, teeth nipping at his earlobe.

“Are you ready?” Henry asks, voice low in Alex’s ear. He feels, rather than sees, Alex nod against him.

“Yes,” Alex breathes, barely audible. “Are you?”

“I’m still loose from earlier.” Henry drags his teeth along the shell of Alex’s ear; Alex moans.

“ _Fuck_.”

Henry fumbles behind him for Alex’s cock, sitting back, braced on his knees. Alex looks up at him again, and this time his gaze is shot through with pure want, eyes dark, lips parted. Henry doesn’t look away as he sinks down on Alex’s cock; he watches Alex’s eyes squeeze shut, his mouth drop open, his head fall to the side, curls spreading on the pillow beneath him. Henry’s every nerve ending sings as Alex fills him. He feels his thighs start to tremble, and he lets himself fall forward, hands finding Alex’s neck, thumbs coming up in front of his ears. Alex _looks_ at him again, and Henry is drunk on it—the fire in his eyes, the way his nails scratch lightly against Henry’s skin as his fingertips press into Henry’s hips, the feeling of Alex’s chest, rising and falling in rapid pace. Henry moves, finding a slow, sensuous rhythm, and they gasp together, Alex’s teeth grazing Henry’s collarbone. 

The feeling builds in Henry rather quickly, pleasure tugging deep inside of him, biting back groans and swallowing words so as not to draw any unnecessary attention. Alex’s hips move in tiny thrusts and he’s quiet too, grunting or barely breathing out curses. Henry marvels at his self-control. Alex’s hand finds Henry’s cock between them, suddenly and without warning, and Henry gasps at the way the intensity of feeling ratchets up, the slow burn suddenly sparked into something stronger.

“Oh, Alex, I can’t—I’m—”

Alex’s grip only tightens, his arm speeding up. Henry clutches at Alex’s face, losing himself in it all, not even trying to drag it out longer than necessary. Alex’s mouth moves to Henry’s nipple and he bites down quickly before soothing it with his tongue. The sharp jolt of pain travels through Henry’s body, twining with the deep pleasure of Alex inside him, stroking against his prostate with every thrust, with Alex’s hand jerking him quick and rough, with the burn lacing through his thighs as he fucks himself onto Alex’s cock. Henry comes with a choked gasp, biting into Alex’s shoulder to keep it from becoming more, the tension within him bursting into sweet relief coursing through his limbs. Between his shaky breaths, he can hear Alex murmuring, “Baby, _fuck_ , you’re gorgeous, I love you so fucking much,” and Henry whimpers at the feel of Alex pulsing inside him as he comes, too, at the endearment he loves so much uttered in the midst of Alex’s pleasure.

Henry raises himself up on shaky arms, sucking in air and eyeing the mess he’s made of Alex’s chest and stomach. Panting, Alex looks down and smirks.

“You’re going to have to clean that up quick, before David gets back over here.”

In lieu of a smart comeback, Henry swipes three fingers through it and shoves them in Alex’s mouth to encourage him to shut up. Alex hungrily licks them clean, which is an unbelievable turn-on. In a snap decision, Henry crawls down Alex’s body and licks up the rest himself, sliding his tongue over the dips and planes of Alex’s torso. By the time he’s done, Alex looks like he’s ready to self-destruct, his mouth dropped open and his eyes heavy-lidded with a deep red flush spread from his chest up to his cheeks.

“Was that quick enough?” Henry murmurs, quirking the corner of his mouth up. Alex hauls him back up and kisses him senseless, and Henry finally lets himself collapse, boneless, on top of him.

At that moment, out of the corner of his eye, Henry sees David’s head pop up again. He stifles a laugh against Alex’s collarbone.

“We’re going to have to figure out a better system for this,” Alex says, an exhale grazing over Henry’s ear. “This is not sustainable.”

“What are you suggesting?” Henry draws back just enough to smile lazily at him, the surge of dopamine making him feel loose and silly. Then David’s tags jingle, and they both groan.

“Shower,” Alex says, pushing at his chest. “Now. Go!”

“But I wanted to cuddle,” Henry whines, jumping out of bed and heading towards the en suite bathroom as quickly as his quivering legs allow. Alex follows close behind. When they’re both inside, Alex slams the door shut and swivels Henry around to press him up against it. He reaches up to meet Henry’s lips in a slow, languid kiss, fisting a hand in his hair and tugging.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Alex murmurs against his lips after a minute. Henry follows his gaze to the claw foot bathtub.

“I suppose he can’t get through a closed door,” Henry says, biting his lip with a smile.

“Sweet freedom,” Alex whispers.

When Alex is leaning back against him in the hot, steamy tub, Henry inhales deeply, the scent of lavender bath bubbles relaxing him from head to toe, the water easing his aching muscles.

“Alex?” he says quietly.

“Yeah, baby?” Alex turns his head to gaze back up at Henry with a small, sweet smile.

“What d’you think David is doing right now?”

“Jesus fucking _Christ_ ,” Alex groans, and shoves a fistful of bubbles in Henry’s face.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are amazing!!! I'm on tumblr: [omgcmere](https://omgcmere.tumblr.com/) and twitter: [cmere](https://twitter.com/cmere)


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